The to Scary Haunted House
Amy was a smart girl until it came to haunted houses. She was the weirdest girl in her school. She loved to get scared. Her friends were telling her about a real haunted house on her street. She said that day she was going in to that haunted house. So after school at 8:30 PM Amy and her friends went to the haunted house and she was shocked to see the house but she went in anyway. When she was in she said " I change my mind I'm going home."
I like your story and the end is funny. You might want to see you could add stronger words. Also, your story is a bit choppy you should mumble read to make it flow.
ReplyDeleteYour story has a lot of "She" and "So" kind of sentence starters. Also you could make your story more powerful by wideining your sentence lengths. Other than that I thought your story was humerious and a interesting way to use the prompt!
ReplyDeleteBe sure to use the feedback given to you by your peers. They suggest to add descriptive words and have longer sentences and I agree with them. I also, notice that many of your sentences start with 3 and 4 letter words. Try switching this up a bit to make your story more interesting.
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