Wednesday, January 6, 2016
100 Word Challenge by Diablo
Tim and Tom too best friends they live in a place called Cuptopia.
Tim and Tom dreamt about climbing the biggest mountain in Cuptopia It was called Cool whip.
At the top of Cool whip mountain was the cuptree. Cuptree held magic and to get the magic you had
to eat and chop down the whole tree and the whole tree is candy. The next day Tim and Tom said
that they would climb Cool whip mountain chop down and eat cuptree and get the magic.
They set off climbing, grappling from ledge to ledge insanity glared their eyes while they
jumped up the mountain was difficult. Finely after 2 days rough pain they got to the top ran to the
cuptree got out their axes started chopping and eating 5 mounts later finished they were proud got the
magic and went home.
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Your story is double spaced and a little hard to read that way. You should make sure your sentence beginnings are all capitalized. I think you should also go over and mumble read your story to see if you can make it flow better. Overall good job.
ReplyDeleteYou are missing some end punctuation. Also it gets a little choppy in some places, you could read it over and make sure it flows better.
ReplyDeleteOver all it is a good story if you clean it up a bit.
You should listen to some of the comments from your peers, it will really improve your story.
ReplyDelete