Blizzard Storm
One winter morning, got up to go play in the snow. Outside was colder then expected but I continued playing but later that day a blizzard accord.
"Get in side now" mom yelled.
Running in I slipped on black ice. The blizzard caught up with me and I grabbed the porch and hugged as hard as I could. My grip was slipping.
"Help!" I yelled as I was getting sucked into the death vortex.
I needed to jump to the door, it was a 50/50 chance of life or death. Then I went for it, I couldn't quiet make it but my reached for my arm and pulled me in. My heart was racing at the speed of sound. The blizzard went away and I was safe.
You have a weird space in your fist sentence. Also I think you're also missing an "I."
ReplyDeleteI think you need a comma after:
ReplyDeleteI continued playing (COMMA)
Also it kind of just droppes at the end:
Eg.) she went to the grocery store. The end.
You have a space in your first line. overall you did a grat job.
ReplyDelete