The Hanting Hotel
One Halloween night in a town called Bartley village. Was a girl named Lisa and Lisa was feeling sneaky she liked sneaking into places on special days for some reason. But here is her story on Halloween night. "So it's a hotel huh."Lisa said looking on her computer with a malicious voice. "I'll go tonight at 1:00." So she got her stuff ready witch was a flashlight and two battery's. And so she went off... Inside was spooky lots of stuff like flashing lamps and creaking doors. "Ahh." Lisa screamed because she heard a slam ran out the door and went home.
When Someone's talking you need to start a new line. Also the out could make your story more powerful by adding descriptive language. Also the end is very studded I think you could see if you could make it flow better.
ReplyDeleteYou've forgotten to use the prompt, "Suddenly".
ReplyDelete