August.8, 2364
Life just ended now my life is swimming is a green, grow sewer. The last perfect day before the end of the world was well perfect. My mom brought me to a your a dancer thing and that sucked. Only my dad knew what was going on be cause he is a scientist. We went on a shopping spree and got million dollar loans and then we got a jet pack, ps4, Pogo sticks,and a Mansion ,etc. Likely we weren't going to survive but we got to a nuke bunker under ground. But what exploded was unexplainable. When you die you get anything you want.
Your story does not flow properly and it doesnt make sense in some of the story. Part of it is your grammar and spelling errors. If you read it out loud, you are sure to pick up on them.
ReplyDeleteMany parts of your story are confusing. For example how to the nuke bunker fit into your story and the green sewer. Be sure to read your story out loud to others as it will help clear up parts of your story. Make sure each part of your story has a purpose and fits the flow.
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